Raf wrote:Think of it this way. If you order a cheeseburger from mcdonald's. would you like it served the normal way or chopped up in a blender? Either way it's still a full cheeseburger. One is just more appealing to look at and can't be consumed through a straw. How nasty would that be to drink a cheeseburger with a cup and straw???
Cheeseburger shake? Hmmm...
*SCENE 2,927,880,314*
(Ronald McDonald and Hamburgler are eating lunch at their local McDonald's in McD World)
Ronald: Hey, Hamburgler!
Hamburgler: (Talks with cheeseburger in mouth while chunks fly out at Ronald) Myahm Rorald?
Ronald: (Wipes chunks off shirt) Man why do you always do that?
Hamburgler: (Swallows) Sorry.
Ronald: (Sighs) Anyways, your hamburgers are starting to bore me.
Hamburgler: Uh... I'm sorry, WHAT?!
Ronald: I
said, YOUR HAMBURGERS ARE STARTING TO BO...
(The pink bird chick snatches Ronalds cheeseburger and thows it in the blender)
Ronald: (Gasps) NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!
Hamburgler: What? I didn't do nothing!
Ronald: You made me unprotect my food from that hungry vulture! Now my lunch is in that blender! Well, it's not like I was going to finish that junk anyway. Wait... why do we even own a blender in McDonald's when we don't even make our own food?
(Ronald and Hamburgler sit in silence for a few seconds)
Hamburgler: Well, because McDonald's started as a shake restaurant. And don't tell the kids that we don't make our own food, but instead our food comes from processed animal fats mixed with the small amount of plastic you find in an M&M.
Ronald: Oh, processed fat is NOT good for our reputation... Now, where were we? ... Oh right. Now my lunch is in that blender! Well, it's not like I was going to finish that junk anyway.
Hamburgler: Why I outta' blend you up!
Ronald: Alright, blend me bottom's up!
Hamburgler: Oh, well that's not going to be too difficult considering your bottom's already up above your face!
Obese Children: OOOOOOOOOOH, DISSSSS!
Ronald: SHUT YOUR PIE HOLES AND START EATING!!!
(Ronald brings out gallons of ice cream, which really comes from the sugary fat of the animal fats used in cheeseburgers, for the little, yet HUGH children)
Obese Children: YAAAAAAAY!!!
(Obese Children finish gallons of ice cream in minutes and line up for the bathrooms that have rust on the toilet seats)
Hamburgler: Hey, what's 1 + 1?
Ronald: (Sarcastically) Uhhh... 2?!
Hamburgler: No, DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER! HYAHHHH!!!
(Hamburgler lunges on Ronald. They continue for 2 hours at a fierce slap fight until Hamburgler switches on the blender)
Ronald: NOOOOOOOOO, MY SAMWITCH!!!!!!!!
Hamburgler: HaHaHaHaHa, Ha, Ha... HA! ... ... HAHA!
Ronald: Are you done yet?
Hamburgler: Yah.
Ronald: Ok then... Now eat my blended burger through a staw! MUHAHAHAHAHAH! YOU SHALL EAT YOUR TRADEMARK HAMBURGER IN SHAME! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
(Awkward silence)
Hamburgler: Um, Ok!
(Hamburgler drinks Ronald's whole blended meal through a staw)
Hamburgler: (Makes that anoying *nnt*nnt*nnt* sound when people have food in their mouth and try to figure out what it tastes like) Hmmm... tastes like chicken. Chicken shake? No, CHEESEBURGER SHAKE!
ALL (Including Obese Children): EUREEKA!!!
Eugene (One of the Obese Children): Er... can I get fries with that?
Narrator: And from then on, the legend of the Cheeseburger Shake has gone from heart, to healthy heart, to clogged heart, to tapeworm infested heart, to just plain fat heart, and to the heart's of the obese children and on as the best food item McDonald's has ever made (which isn't saying much considering they don't even make their own food).
Hamburgler: Hey!
*END*